What to ask before you touch the playlist

Start with the room, not the music

Before you ask about favourite artists, find out what you are walking into. Ask for the venue name, the capacity, and what time the licence runs to. A 120-capacity village hall with an 11 pm finish needs a different shape of night to a converted barn with a midnight licence and a separate late bar. Find out whether the dancefloor sits off the dining room or in its own space — that tells you when people will arrive in front of you and how long you have to build. Ask about sound limiters. Some venues, particularly older ones near housing, have a limiter set so sensitively that a loud kick drum will cut your PA mid-song. Better to know that in an email than at ten past eight. Ask whether there is another event in the building. A second wedding next door changes the atmosphere and sometimes the acoustics.

Get the shape of the evening clear

You are filling a timeline, and you need to know what sits either side of you. Ask when the wedding breakfast finishes and when the couple expect people to come to you. In practice those two times are often an hour apart — speeches run long, people want coffee, the venue needs to reset the room. If you plan for a seven o'clock start and the room does not fill until half eight, your first hour feels like a failure even when it is not. Ask whether there is a live band. If a four-piece is playing until ten, you are not warming up a crowd — you are taking over one that is already warm and possibly already tired. That is a different job. Ask about the first dance: straight away or after a short mix-in? Ask about set-piece moments — an anniversary dance, a father-daughter song, a surprise guest on the mic. These never appear on a brief if you do not specifically ask, and they are the things that catch you at nine-fifteen on a Saturday.

Find out who the room actually belongs to

The couple are your clients, but they are not always the most influential people on the night. Ask who else has strong opinions about music. Often it is a parent contributing to the bill, and if that person dislikes your first forty minutes you will hear about it through the couple before the night is out. Ask about the age split. A room that is mostly mid-thirties plays differently to one where the bride's family is largely over sixty and the groom's side brought their university friends. Neither is harder — they need different pacing and a different read of the first hour. Ask whether anyone is likely to be at the booth making requests. Not because you are promising to play everything, but because knowing that one particular uncle will appear by nine lets you set expectations now rather than manage a scene later. The conversation about how you handle requests — at your discretion, not on demand — is much easier over email in February than at the venue at ten pm.

The music conversation, once you have everything else

Now you can talk about songs. Ask for the first dance track and whether they want the full version or a fade. Ask for a short list of artists or tracks they genuinely love — not a homework playlist, just enough to calibrate where they sit. Five artists is plenty. Then ask the question most DJs skip: what do you not want to hear? A hard avoid list is more useful than an hour of requests, because it shows you where the edges are. Some couples have a real reason — a song from a previous relationship, a track played at a funeral. You need to know that before you reach for it instinctively at half ten because it always works. Ask whether there is anything they are expecting that they have not mentioned — a song that would mean the world to one of them, something their parents danced to, a running joke that became a track. These are the details that make a night feel personal rather than merely competent.

Questions people ask

How long should this conversation take?

Half an hour on a call or a well-structured email exchange usually covers everything. Couples who want to talk for two hours are generally anxious about the night, not difficult — they need to feel understood. If you are systematic upfront, the back-and-forth emails in the weeks that follow tend to drop off sharply. A booking that starts with a thorough consultation usually needs far less chasing than one where you skipped it and tried to piece things together later.

What if they say 'we trust you, just play what works'?

Take it as a compliment, but still ask the practical questions. The licence time, the room layout, the end of the wedding breakfast, and the hard avoids are operational information — nothing to do with taste. A couple who trusts you completely still has a venue with a limiter or an uncle who hates a particular decade. 'We trust you' does not make those things disappear. Ask the logistics questions regardless, and keep the music conversation brief if they are genuinely relaxed about it.

Should I send a written questionnaire or do this on a call?

Both, usually. A written form sent after booking captures details they need to look up — first dance title, venue contact, licence time — without eating into a call. The call is where you pick up what they would never think to write down, like the fact that her dad is recently widowed and the song he always danced to with his wife is still too raw to hear. People do not put that in a form. If your workflow only allows one, a short call with a written follow-up to confirm what you agreed is more reliable than a form alone.